the view from dullsville

wow.  no one is reading.  and i haven't really done any work on our diet as a family.  and we haven't really settled our budgetary conflicts.  but i've decided to go ahead and start making plans to get gastric sleeve surgery.  i cannot lose weight, i'm having too many health issues and i want to be around for a while, so i can see my daughter grow up.

and i am tired of living in dullsville.  i want to be active.  swim. ski. hike.  again.  all that stuff i used to be able to do.  but now i can't.  so goodbye dullsville. see ya later.  i have much more important things to live for and to figure out.  like....why didn't i know about post partum girdles?  i wouldn't have this flap if i had.  boo.

revisionist thinking?

corey booker is doing the food stamp challenge, and being mocked by FOX news.  i use the word news, because that's what they call themselves, they're anything but news.  but it got me thinking, when i was reading the article.  if he qualifies for $133/mo as a single person, why do we, a family of 3, only qualify for $230?  something has to be wrong in this calculation.  we get less per person thank a single person?  shouldn't we qualify for MORE per person?  because it's supplemental, and the costs associated with having a family are GREATER than that of a single person, so why the penalization of supplemental nutritional funds?  i'm more than a bit confused.

needless to say, we've gone WAY  over budget.  how far, i don't know.  i'm having a difficult time getting my husband to sit down with me and add up the food bills.  he tends to be a "shop as you go" type of person, and i'm trying to break that habit.  we need to plan and purchase accordingly.  i can't get him on track with this.  it's frustrating and causing all kinds of friction, and yes, more than a few fights.

i almost gave up.  but i'm trying to push forward.  we're only purchasing meat when it's on sale.  i'm scouring sale flyers for the best deals, i've almost gotten all processed foods out of the house.  but the budget is the biggest sticking point.  i want to stick to a set amount, my husband keeps saying  it's , "supplemental" and we can spend what we need.  well, that's not the point of this exercise, is it?  if we do that, why bother?

so i need help, suggestions, ideas.  i need to get him back on board, the man that was so gung-ho about this project.  the first month was a disaster, not a huge one, but we didn't stick to any sort of budget.  i didn't get any help with that.  our second month needs to improve.  so if you can give me some ideas, i'd appreciate them.  i'm just about researched out.  i can only spend so much time looking for answers to questions, and getting a stonewall back as an answer.  it's so frustrating.  so i'm reaching out to anyone that is reading for ANY ideas.  help me cut our food budget, stick to the budget, save money, ANYTHING.  i don't want to give up, because i think there is a valuable lesson to be learned in this project.  i just feel like i'm being sabotaged.  and it's really beginning to get old, and hurt.


post script:  after much more researching, the original site that i used to calculate our SNAP allowance has been taken down.  this was run by the state of Nevada, where we reside.  i went to the USDA SNAP website, and by their guidelines, we could receive up to $526/mo.  now THIS makes much more sense.  we've had a very brief discussion, and we've talked about putting $121/wk aside, and keeping track of our spending in this manner.  we still need to finish our pantry inventory, the fighting just wasn't worth it at the time.  at this time, i'm more angry that the information i initially had was SO incorrect, and such a source of discord in our family.  we all thought that it was just a ridiculous sum, but that was the information the state was supplying.  now, i wish i could find that website, so i could prove that i'm not crazy!  a sigh of relief, as i know i can make $526/mo go much further.  anything left over will go into savings.  and i am hoping we will have money left over.  but i'm sticking to my guns.  no "shop as you go" strategy.  we have to plan very carefully and think about every purchase we make.  some will be more popular than others, but our daughter is just going to have to expand her taste experiences and try new things.  personally, i'm a bit tired of broccoli!

the road to hell is paved with....sweet potatoes?

okay, i think we blew the budget today.  we had such GOOD intentions.  really, really good intentions. let's hope the cold snap holds for a while, because i've got everything in a box on the patio.  let me explain:


we have a local pick and pay orchard here in town.  it's a great place.  i've been trying to get hubby to go for a while now.  we decided to get up today, as next weekend is the last saturday for the year.  i *think* i got some decent rest, i'm not sure.  but i got out of bed without too much of a struggle, got dressed, insisted on something other than doughnut shop coffee (YUCK!) and we were off.  i wanted to show little one where some of our food comes from and how we can pick and process it ourselves.   she had a blast!  first stop was the granny smith apples.  we all love granny smith apples.  everyone kept saying there were huge apples, but we went for some smaller ones, because they are great lunchbox size.  and now i have to bake a pie.  that's okay, we have pie crust in the freezer.  remember the rules?  have to use up the processed stuff first!  lucky hubby, he gets apple pie.  seven pounds later....we move on to sweet potatoes.

now THIS is what i came for.  and we really didn't get that many.  but the ones we DID get?  big enough that one will fit the bill for an entire meal for all three of us.  i think that's pretty efficient.  they are big, beautiful, and just in time for winter.  yum.  next, zucchini.  little one scored.  she was a master at spotting the PERFECT zucchini.  not too big, not too small.  just the right size.  she'll be rewarded with chocolate zucchini bread for sure.  such a help to her mom.  AND she found the eggplant.  they were on the smaller size.  i can't remember the name, but they are a traditional round eggplant.  i am hoping i can find some recipe that hubby will try, as his experiences with eggplant have not been that great.  we only picked four, as not to over do it.

total damage for the produce?  $18.00.  BUT, it's locally grown, pesticide free, organically grown and we're supporting a small business.  that makes me feel good.  then we drove over to the farm.  it's actually called The Farm.  another small business that sells produce, honey (raw, unfiltered, from their own hives.  if i get in a pinch and i can't get it from my usual honey man, i can get it there because they are pricier.)  they have chickens roaming freely, a vietnamese potbellied pig named violet that LOVES butternut squash, ethel and mabel, their two holstein cows, some horses, a llama, a few peacock families, including mama pearl and her babies.   mama pearl is very protective, so when she's around, everyone has to stop moving.  you don't want to get between pearl and her babies!  and a HUGE rooster, who is recovering from coyote injuries.  little one suggested a name for him, and i think it's going to stick.  she tagged him "big murray."  the owners seemed to like the name.  that's my girl.  we bought a dozen eggs.  farm fresh eggs, i haven't had these since i was a kid!  they were pricey, we won't make this splurge that often, unless they're REALLY GOOD EGGS.  $5.50/dozen.

so tomorrow i have to sit down and total up what we have left of our budget.  i suspect there isn't much left of that budget.  i think we really blew the first month.  but hey, it's a learning experience.  and i've packed all the produce in a cardboard box, brown paper and old bed sheets and set it outside, so we'll have it for a while.  another reason to get the *&^$ out of this city, i need a root cellar.  i'm hoping we have cooler temps for a while, so we'll have produce for a while.  i know the sweet potatoes will keep, and i'm going to have to use the zucchini within 2-3 weeks, if the weather holds.  the apples, if this is it for the warmer weather, they'll be good for a few months, but they won't last that long!

so, do i feel bad about wrecking my budget or feel good about supporting small, local businesses and getting some really great produce into my family's diet?  i'm trying to be an optimist these days.  i'll go with the latter.  besides, it was a great way to spend the day together, and that's what really matters.

lessons in budgeting 101

today was a challenge.  i was good, i was bad.  i had a medical appointment, and after that we wandered down the street to a farmer's market.  it seemed to me that most of the produce was way overpriced, so we didn't buy any.  but then i spied it.  honey.  not just honey, local DESERT HONEY! from all the pollens that are located naturally here in the mojave.  just what you need to strengthen your immune system.  okay, i blew the budget.  i should have just gotten the MEGA HUGE jar, but i went with the bear and a smaller jar, which ended up costing me $2 more.  i thought i could encourage little one to use the honey bear a little bit more if it was sitting there on the counter.  it's cute, it's friendly, it's a honey bear, for cripes sake.  spring will be here before we know it, so it's time to get some good local honey in all of us so our allergies won't act up come spring.   and i bought a baguette, which really didn't kill the budget.  that got divided into thirds, two thirds went in the freezer, and we had some bread tonight.  little one with her pasta bolognese, and me with my brie.  we'll have to add up what we've spent, but i think we've spent over half of our budget, and it's only the eighth of the month.  like i said, this is going to be a long learning experience.

so now, we've got to tighten our belts EVEN MORE.  i'm getting good at stretching one chicken breast so it feeds all three of us.  meat is getting to be less and less of a central aspect of our meals.  i've got a batch of kidney beans par boiled in the fridge, ready to be made into red beans and rice.  i just found a coupon in a magazine for $1 chicken sausage.  yes, i know that's not authentic, but it will be an introduction for little one, so that might be a good idea.  she's not opposed to the idea, so i'm good with that.

we're eating more rice, i've noticed.  i'm going to slowly make the switch to brown rice to bump up the nutritional value in our meals.  i'm going to have to reacquire my taste for it, and teach everyone else to like it, too.  so i see lots of beans and rice in our future.  and i'm going to have to break out the quinoa, too.  you can't go wrong with quinoa as a source of protein, as far as grains go.  now, if i can just get them to EAT IT.

so, 22 days left in the month, right around $100, give or take....i think it's less.  we're going to have to really take stock of what's in the house (we haven't finished that inventory yet.)  we have to go through the freezer and the cabinets, check what's good, bad, toss, donate, clear out, organize, you name it.  we've gotten two cabinets done, and that's a good start.

now, if i could just get a good night's sleep, i'd be unstoppable!

election night avoidance

okay, we caved.  i had an assessment for physical therapy today, and the whole fam went with.  little one was out of school for a staff development day.  so my appointment ran late, we were hungry and little one wanted ramen.  okay.  we can get ramen.  it's not that expensive, we know the staff, it's good quality, but there's that pork thing again.  i'm never going to get that pig off my back.  she and i split a bowl, she had some rice, hubby had his usual.  lots of giggles, we were sated.

and then we caved again.  we couldn't get on the expressway to go home, it was moving at a snails pace.  side streets it was.  and one just happened to take us past the restaurant that hubby works at.  dessert, anyone?  why not?  we get a decent discount.  and it's pumpkin season, need i say more?  gelato for little one, upside down apple pie a la mode for hubby and pumpkin cheesecake (to die for!) for me.  and a decade cappuccino.  i know, why bother?  take all the fun out of it without the caffeine.  but i want to sleep at some point!

restaurants don't figure into the SNAP challenge.  i'm trying to figure out if we should have a penalty for going out and off the program, that we pay back to ourselves.  we found a way to waste a few more hours, came home and got little one to bed.  hubby and i made musubi for her lunches.  yes, i give my kid spam.  very rarely.  it's a hawaiian thing, and she loves it.  she has it maybe once every three months, so i don't feel too guilty about it.  i made her favorite croissants.  i par cooked a batch of kidney beans that i'll finish tomorrow for red beans and rice.  we have to pick up sausage for that, but everything else is in the house.  i don't think we're doing too badly.  little one is going through a growth spurt, her appetite is off the charts!  she just confessed that she doesn't like tuna salad sandwiches (with the exception of subway's) in her lunch.  so cue the musubi.  and now we have to figure out a lot of things to start putting in her lunch.  she can't take mac and cheese every day.  i guess i'll have to whip up a batch of chicken noodle soup and sees if that works.  she can be so picky!  but the good thing is she won't eat her "treat" if she doesn't eat the main part of her lunch.  we've taught her well.


so we avoided most of the election nonsense.  we came home just in time to see President Obama declared the winner.  and little one gave us a smile in her sleep when daddy told her.  she likes President Obama.  she thinks it's pretty cool that we have a president that's mixed race, just as she is.  she feels a special bond, my girl does.  so this day is history.  we voted.  and i'm glad that as many people voted as did.  we still need to get more politically active in this country.  and i still need to quit pork.  let's hope it doesn't take another four years.

pinch a little tighter

oh, i'm becoming a penny pincher.  and keeping track of every cent we're spending on food.  and not doing very well on the omnivore venture.  but, on a positive, we are hanging tough on the SNAP challenge.  we've learned a few tricks, we're shopping smarter, i think (i hope!) and trying to expand our repertoire of dishes.

for instance, we made a MESS of fried rice today.  a huge batch.  we have two meals left in the fridge!  and we only used on chicken breast.  i've finally (FINALLY!) succeeded in getting my family to accept that meat should be viewed as more of a condiment or side dish, rather than the main dish.  for the leftover fried rice, i'll toast up some peanuts, add some more cilantro (growing on the kitchen counter) and a bit of thinned down peanut butter (with fish sauce, 1 teaspoon peanut butter should do the trick) and make a more thai influenced fried rice.  no one says leftovers HAVE to be boring!

and we're breaking down our purchases into meal size portions for freezing immediately.  for a family of three, two pork chops (yes, pork again.  i know, i know.  i said i wanted off the piggie, but it's inexpensive, and we can stretch it in so many ways) are a meal.  a very filling meal.  and two pounds of boneless skinless chicken thighs?  four meals, at the very least.  and it's not a big expenditure.  so what did we purchase today?  today's shopping trip was to Food 4 Less, and we used no coupons.

staples were:
butter, 2 pounds
eggs 1 dozen
canola oil, 48 ounces
flour 5 pounds
sugar 3 pounds
milk, 1 gallon 1%
carnation condensed milk, 2 15 ounce cans (on sale, .68 each)
juicy juice 2/5.00 on sale (plus double box tops for school)
oatmeal (we had to buy the smaller store brand, the larger store brand was sold out)

produce
cilantro for fried rice (ours isn't quite mature enough to pick yet)
green onions for fried rice (saving a few of the roots and starting a bunch hydroponically, so we'll have   them when we need them

splurge purchase
vodka, 1.75 litre (this is not for drinking.  this is for vanilla extract, cleaning products, laundry and to kill the tricking aphids that are eating my lovely green garden plants on the patio.  at (9.98 it seems like a splurge, but it will last us about 6 or so months.  really quite a bargain.)

we forgot a few things, so we had to stop on the way home to pick up:

frozen peas
stocks (beef, chicken and turkey)
these items were picked up at Albertson's on our way home, literally around the corner from our house.

total expenditures for the day $72.44
remaining budget $130.56

i didn't include the 64 ounce carton of yogurt we picked up, as that's for the dogs.  our pet food expenditures are separate, as they are not allowed under SNAP.

tomorrow we have to inventory the freezer, and the remaining kitchen cabinets,  we're keeping a running list of what we have, what we're using, what we need and what we don't seem to like or need.  i know that it's getting to bread baking weather, so we're going to have to invest in nonfat dry milk and active yeast, not inexpensive items.  but the per ounce or per use cost of each is quite small in comparison, so they do pay off in the end.  we've taken stock of our flours, and fortunately i'm sitting in a good position for the start of bread baking season.  i've got a lot of white bread flour, some rye, a bit of rice flour, some garbanzo flour (which also makes a great veggie frittata!  a great way to use up leftover veggies in an open face omelet-type meal.  you just have to be careful of the proportion of flour to water, or you'll have a rather explosive and slow cooking mess on your hands. i even found a bag of pastry flour that i didn't know was in the house.  BONUS!

so i'm hoping, if we do well, and we save enough that possibly we can get a new vitamix and retire my beautiful vintage, but not so effective model.  it would be fabulous for making some highly nutritious soups, "ice creams and smoothies for little one.  one more way to use up that produce that is just about to be thrown out.

hubby felt pretty good about the amount spent, i felt it was much too high for what we got.  like i said, i'm really tightening the belt.  there is going to be little to no waste in this house.  i have to figure out a way to set up a compost bin because i just cannot stand seeing items that can help the earth go to waste.  my garden is going to be my refuge.  and that's one thing i'm going to need is healthy soil.  i'd rather make it than buy it.  

so that's our day.  i still need tips/suggestions/ideas.  i'm looking for good lentil/legume and rice recipes, as i have a husband that has an aversion to lentils.  he'll eat beans and rice, but i need something AMAZING with lentils in it to get him to eat them.   so if you're out there reading this, please give me an idea.  i'll be ever so grateful!

whatcha got?

today is inventory day.  we're clearing out cabinets and taking stock of what we have.  we think that having our seven year old help us with the inventory is a good way to get her involved and enthusiastic.  right now she's fearful that we're going to starve.  no, that's not the case.  i'm just determined to make every penny count.

so this morning hubby is making a big batch of pancakes for breakfast.  they don't cost much to make.  the extras go in the freezer for weekday toaster pancakes.  we're also learning how to set up a budget for this project, what is and isn't included (lucky pups and kitties, they're excluded!)  luxury items?  not going to be that many purchased, i can tell you that.  we're getting back to basic, and trying to live as simply as possible.

so it's count, organize and toss day.  lots of work to be done.  i'm still looking for recipes, so if anyone wants to volunteer any, please do.  no processed food.  this week we're trying to get all the processed food that remains out of t he house.  that's  bigger challenge than you can imagine!

so it's a short post today, because i have to get busy.  feel free to drop us a line, if you have a suggestion, a comment or you just want to encourage my family.  we'd love to hear from you.  thanks!

day 1, flying blind

we start our project/experiment/challenge today.  unfortunately, our sale flyers, that usually arrive in the tuesday mail didn't do so, so i'm flying without a net.  i have to take stock of what we have, and watch all the in store sales.  this should prove interesting.

so we're going to try to break ourselves in gently.  tomorrow hubby and i have to take stock of all of our on hand foods.  we need to make a list of staples, and  we have to make a list of occasional indulgences.  thankfully, last night (actually, just a few hours ago) was halloween, so there is plenty of candy in the house.  and we happen to be very good at doling out a piece at a time as a reward, so that is a fortunate occurrence.   little things are going to be going a long way for the next six months for so.

rudimentary mathematics gives us a figure of $203 per month for a family of 3.  when we break that down, it equals $2.25 per meal.  that all sounds fine and well, except i have an 8 year old with a taste for rib eye steak.  not unless it's  FANTASTIC sale, my dear!  and i'm going to try to follow the nutritional guidelines and get as many fruits and vegetables on the table as possible.  i'm trying to grow some vegetables on our patio, so i hope taht takes off, and i'll be able to help supplement the pantry some, with some fresh veg.  and i'm going to be planting some herbs, too.  they're expensive at the market, but the flavor cannot be beat.  so i'm planting some parsley, rosemary, i've got basil going already, i've got a new method of getting cilantro to grow (i've never had luck with cilantro, it's one of my frustrations!) and i've got some lavender and chamomile for tea starting.  i realize it's getting late in the year, so i may have to invest in some thick poly vinyl to shield the plants from the cold.  i'm also researching building a cold frame for the balcony, to start planting some crops early in the spring, so we can get them going for the summer.  i'm maybe getting a little ahead of myself.  but i want this to be a successful experience for us all, especially little one.  this could help her to appreciate what she has so much more, and help understand those that don't have what she's blessed to.

tomorrow is a long day of for me.  i've got a lot to plan, research, look through and take stock of.  i'm cautiously optimistic that we can make a go of this.  i'm hoping that it sticks.  garry was so tired tonight that we didn't even set the ground rules.  i found a site that detailed what is and isn't covered by SNAP, which helps.  we won't be using that $203 exclusively for all purchases at the grocery store, our pets are excluded.  unfortunately, garry's soda is covered.  i've been trying to get him to cut back for years, ever since a bout of kidney stones put him in the hospital.

we will have to see how this goes.   i know of one dish that i will be making, for sure.  my pasta bolognese.  it doesn't sound economical, with 3 pounds of meat, 3 cups of wine,  and all. but for us, breaking it down, after all the ingredients are added up, we get AT LEAST 6 meals out of it, more if i don't cook the sauce into the pasta and just top the pasta with the sauce.   i roughly added up my ingredients, divided by the number of people that ate tonight, and the 5 servings that were leftover, and i came out with under $2.00 per person.  the wine was a freebie from a party my husband had a work, both bottles.  we had the pasta already on hand.  the tomato sauce was purchased on sale (i'll be stocking up now, i'll also be clearing out space so i CAN stock up!) the big splurge was the meat and the thyme.  tonight, we had 6 adults and three kids eating, and running around.  there were leftovers.  i brought home just enough for a dinner for the three of us.  john kept some to take with his lunch to work tomorrow, steve had seconds and maureen really liked it, i cut back on the onion and garlic for her.  it's a winner of a meal that makes everyone happy.  when i make it just for us, i get AT LEAST 6-7 meals out of the recipe.  not too shabby.  now, if i could just find six months worth of recipes that were just like that, i'd be happy.  i have a lot of reading and researching to do!  and people are going to have to expand their palates.  that's all there is to it.  so we're off and like a toddler, learning to navigate this world.  i wish it came with an instruction manual!

the food stamp experiment (or SNAP goes the budget!)

we've been bouncing around the idea to take the food stamp (now SNAP) challenge and see how we, as a family, would fare.  after visiting our state SNAP site, we've determined that our monthly allotment would be $203.00.  now, the challenge is to come up with menus, a working budget, sticking to that budget, and making sure that we all realize WHY we're undertaking this challenge.  so, instead of just one month, we've decided to finish the year with this experiment.  two months left of the year.  $406.00.  i'm hoping we can make it.  i'll be blogging our attempts at building a budget, shopping, what works, what doesn't work.  my one steadfast rule is NO PREPACKAGED FOODS!  i feel we can eat healthier and better, even on a budget, if we avoid prepackaged garbaged.  and there will be little to no going out for meals.  that will be reserved for a special occasion.  for example, little one's birthday happens to fall during this time frame, as does thanksgiving.  thanksgiving will be done at home, but there will be some sort of going out treat for little one.

wish me luck, and keep checking in to see how we do.  if you have any tips on building a budget, please suggest them.  i'll be scouring the web for ideas, but i'm open to any and all suggestions.  drop me a note to let me know what you think.  the experiment begins on november 1, 2012.

*UPDATE*

after much discussion, hubby has decided we should give this SIX MONTHS to see if it takes.  two months he feels, isn't long enough.  three, we'll just be getting into the groove of things.  six months is what he thinks is good.  he's reserving the option to expand the experiment to one year.    i'm cautiously optimistic of his enthusiasm.  the bread machine is coming out, we'll be needing input on low cost, high nutrition recipes.  i'm hoping there is someone out there that looks at this blog, that might start to follow it, that could actually comment and leave us some information that could be useful.  if you're so inclined, please help!

thanks to flo's V8 diner!

I SURVIVED DISNEY LAND!!  okay, i did indulge in a soft serve cone, but (and this is a very big BUT) at California Adventure, in CarsLand, there is a place called Flo's V8 diner.  if you've seen the movie, you'll truly be AMAZED, no ASTOUNDED by how they recreated the sights and sounds of the movie.  it is really a BLAST!  by the time we got there, we were FAMISHED!!  mac and cheese, with TWO VEGGIES, APPLE RINGS AND GRAPES AND JUICE BOX for little one (how healthy is that???  two veg, two fruit and an additional serving of fruit in a juice box?  I LOVE FLO!)  hubby had turkey dinner with mash and roasted corn medley.  me?  i was in vegetarian HEAVEN!!  no vegan offering, but the vegetarian offering did ROCK!  it was a "tater bake."  it had soy crumbles, bulgar, a nice veggie gravy to pull it together, topped with mash and a slice of veggie cheddar, that could have been replaced by shreds, if you asked me.  roasted corn medley was surprisingly tasty, and a  chive dinner roll (white whole wheat is what they were saying) to round it out.  veggie at an amusement park?  and not a salad?  i was happy.  it was getting cold, and it was time for a nice, warm sit down dinner.  and believe me, a bulgar, mash casserole (which it pretty much amounted to) fit the bill perfectly!

color my mickey ears surprised, happily so.  rock on, Imagineers.  keep up the good work, make more veg offerings for us.  we'll be coming more and more.  this made my day.  that, and the smiles when we TOTALLY pulled this off.  little one had no idea we were going to D-land.  the hugs and giggles were just the BEST!  oh, and my really rockin' new mickey sweatshirt.  i've never seen one like it before.  all glittery and distressed at the same time.  kind of like me, at the end of the day.

how fitting.

the tragic kingdom

this weekend is going to be a rough one.  who am i kidding?  this WEEK was a rough one.  my body basically shut down on me and told me i needed SLEEP.   in a big way.  but this weekend?  ugh.

tomorrow, we're going to Disneyland.  it's an early birthday present for little one.  and i've never been there.  and i do not relish the usual fast food choices.  i know they've gotten better in recent years, but after yesterday's falafel meltdown?  i don't know what to do.  i may just have to salad it all day long.  and that gets WAY TOO BORING.  and i do mean B O R I N G.  there's so much more to being a vegetarian or vegan than salad.  why hasn't the world caught on to that?

and then it's halloween weekend with the family in california.  which means lots of candy and treats for the little ones.  daughter and grandson will be spoiled, as they should be on occasions such as this.  it's going to be the first time we've all been together since my brother-in-law's ashes were released at sea, so it's a happy occasion, and we need to make it such.  costumes, party games, haunted houses, all kinds of halloween fun on a mountain in the middle of a national forest.  how much fun can that be?  TONS OF FUN!

i'm just really looking forward to seeing everyone.  and i haven't always been in that frame of mind.  but i'm really, really happy to be going.  i'll try my best, but if i fail to eat the best i can, i fail.  tomorrow is another day.  i know i'm not getting any younger, and the faster i accomplish my goals of getting my diet switched over, the better quality of life i'll experience.  but i can't keep tearing myself down because i had a cheeseburger.  but i am having cheeseburgers a bit too often for my liking.  i've got to work on that.

i'm not packed, but everything is sort of in it's place.  i've got a few good books to read on the way, and i need to get to sleep.  i've been up 4 hours longer than i should have been.  my body is going to slam me up against a wall again, if i don't watch it.  i'm going to miss the wind.  i've grown quite fond of the wind we've been having here in the desert.  and the temps.  we're going from mild 70's, low 80's to almost 90's.  not liking that.  but it's Disneyland, the happiest place on earth....with the worst food,  oh, please, let me find some chick peas or kidney beans.  or at least johnny depp.

from the land of sky blue water...and green grass....

my love affair with cheese.  i don't know how i'm ever going to get over this one.  growing up seven miles south of the wisconsin border, i've had a life long fondness, nay, god damned obsession with cheese.  i'm like wallace.  "i can't help it grommet.  i just like cheese!"  and growing up in a small town, with its own world class cheese factory, known for their baby swiss cheese, i grew up rather spoiled.  or so i thought.

yes, i had baby swiss, fresh from the factory, every week.  my dad would help out during the holiday rushes and help make cheese.  then fred, the factory owner hired enough help, and dad didn't need to get a job there for the holidays, he went down the road to the cheese factory that specialized in italian cheeses and made ricotta.  okay, to be absolutely correct, ricotta isn't technically a cheese, but a dairy product.  it literally means, "recooked."  and dad smelled recooked plenty when he came home from work.  you haven't lived until you've smelled clothes that have been soaked in whey.  that's an aroma not soon forgotten.  so there was never a lack of fresh ricotta in our house.  i actually got a little tired of it.  and now?  i'm looking at recipes and techniques to make my own ricotta.  it doesn't look so difficult to do, really.

then there are the other loves.  cheddar, colby (what midwesterner doesn't love colby?) and brick cheese.  how do i describe brick cheese?  it's a wisconsin specialty.  i have never, ever found it on the west coast, east coast or anywhere but the great lake states.   brick gets its name not only from the shape of the loaf, it looks like a big brick, but when cheesemakers first started making this cheese, they weighted down the curds with red bricks to form the loaves.  the taste?  well, if it's young, it's like cheddar and swiss got together and invited monterey jack in for a little bit of a soiree.  if it's old, one of the ladies got jealous and it's almost as strong as limburger.  it's great, when it's a young brick, on burgers or with crackers and fruit, but when it's older, please, take it to iowa and drop it off there!

so i thought i had a well rounded knowledge of cheese.  i grew up going to the monroe cheese days festival, you know.  then i started traveling.  and were my eyes opened.   first to the regional cheeses of the united states.  vermont cheddar.  upstate new york cheddar, that was good stuff.  artisan cheeses from california.  oh, was i in heaven when i lived in san francisco.  i could have blown a whole paycheck on artisan cheeses alone!  that isn't saying much, because i wasn't getting paid that much.  but going out to half moon bay on weekends when they had festivals going on and tasting hand crafted cheeses?  oh.my.god.  such good stuff.  and then....and then...and then i went to.......LONDON.  enter my love for STINKY CHEESE!  stilton, i love stilton.  huntsman, any cheese made in the cotswolds.  good irish cheddar.  oh, just walking by the cheese case in marks and spenser was enough to make me crazy.  i would get a "grab and go" of cheese, fruit and nuts, with a little brown bread and head to a park with my bottle of water always with me.  and when i learned i could bring that cheese home with me?  I DID.  and then to the southern hemisphere, new zealand and australia.  much the same as england, although the butter in new zealand was to die for.  i bought tins of that and brought them home by the case load.

and then the day finally came.  the trip that i nearly died for.  i was going to PARIS.  PARIS!  PARIS, DIDYOUHEARME?????  talk about being in heaven!  our hotel was nothing to write home about, for sure.  but location, location, location.  a block and a half away was a boulangerie, with some of the best baguettes i've ever had.  there was a fromagerie just up the street.  imagine that, a store, just for cheese.  these frenchmen had it RIGHT!  runny brie, roquefort, camembert, so many cheeses i'd never seen before.  cheeses from all regions of france.  and the women behind the counters could tell you how the grass in the normandy region affected the milk used in this cheese as compared to the grass in the loire valley was good for an earthier tasting cheese.  i walked out with a very small package of pricey goats milk cheese, my first dabbling into chevre, but certainly not my last.  so i had my travel backpack, my baguette, my smelly goat cheese, a bottle of water, some grapes and an apple that i picked up, and two beers with me.  i made a bee line to pere la chaise cemetery, to picnic with some of the most famous dead citizens of paris.   i found a bench, had my impromptu lunch, saved the beer, though, that had a special purpose.  wandered around for hours.  saw the graves of moliere, oscar wilde, sarah bernhard, chopin,  honore de balzac, so many i can't name them.  it was starting to get late, there was a grey haze starting to cover the sun, i decided it was time.  i followed the crowd, and the arrows.  "this way to the lizard king."  i joined hippies and neo-wannabees from all over the globe at the grave of jim morrison.  someone handed me a cigarette, i gladly accepted.  a guy from holland lit it.  i popped open one beer, placed the other at the head of jim's grave, as an offering.  "thanks for all the great music, jim."  i had my beer, smoked my smoke, listened to some music with kids from hungary, holland, sweden, and i think austria.  we all just sat around, had our beverage of choice, some told stories how the doors music influenced their lives.  i just listened, being much older than all of them.  the sun was starting to set, i wished them adieu, and set my path back to the metro and my hotel.  in a total haze of paris, amazing cheese and jim morrison.  what a trip.

so, am i ever going to get cheese out of my life?  i have to admit, as i'm writing this i have a plate of brie and sliced baguette sitting on my right, with my bottle of water.  i'll probably cue up some doors later.  i no longer smoke or drink.  i guess i have jim's cautionary tale to thank for that.  but cheese?  man, i love the stuff.

i'm gearing up to do another 21 day vegan kick start.  i am not sure when they are going to have one start "officially," but i've decided to give it another go.  it's time to take charge of my own health and destiny.  now.....how do i rid the house of tortilla chips and "nacho cheese" dip?  i had a recipe for vegan cheezey dip, but i can't find that at the moment.  i have to find my copy of "the kind diet" and look through EVERYTHING!   thank goodness it's fall and pumpkin and squash are in season and plentiful.  they're drought resistant, so there was a bumper crop of pumpkins in the midwest this summer.  time to hit the farmer's market on friday!  have market bag, will shop!  and time to clear out the fridge.  but before i do that, i have to make one last batch of bolognese sauce.  it is a weakness that i have.  it's sooooo good.  it takes FOREVER to cook, but oh, so good and oh, so worth it.  and i'll stick the rest in the freezer for the omnivore familia. 

we were cleaning out our storage unit today and i should have grabbed my copy of "the china study" to motivate me a little more.  i've got "the omnivore's dilemma" here at the house.  we have to go over tomorrow, so i guess it won't be too difficult to pick it up...if i can find the right box.  that's a big if, we moved a lot of stuff tonight!

my next challenge in life is to find affordable vegan marshmallows.  i think i'm gonna get burned on that one. 

changing old habits, starting new habits. or why do i have to give up my ramen?

i have to admit it, i'm a sucker for ramen.  really, really good ramen.  the stuff you get in japan, and you very rarely find in the states.  well, we have one of those places here in town.   it's EXCELLENT.  it's been written up in all the culinary mags, all the celebrity chefs go there after work to chow down after their shifts, and we've introduced several friends to the place.  i LOVE it.  but there's a problem.  pork.  they use pork broth and pork belly.  and i have to admit it, it is oh, so delectable, you end up licking your bowl.  so......how do i give up my ramen?  it's one of my true pleasures in this life.  it's one of those places that hubby and i can dash off to, and the wait staff knows us, knows our order, doesn't even hesitate when we come in, they KNOW what we're going to get.  and that's a wonderful feeling.  we've made friends with the manager, and we really care about her.  we keep up with her and her family, we chat, when we have the time, but they're usually very busy.  which is REALLY a great thing.  they've been a thriving restaurant for at least 4 years that we've been going there.

but........PORK?  how do i get around that?  i can't.  and this is my favorite place.  if i go veg or vegan, they're on my no go list.  and I LOVE the staff, i love the atmosphere, I LOVE THIS PLACE.  how do you grieve losing one of your favorite foods?a

i got addicted to ramen when i first flew to japan, and it was about all i could afford.  it was either that or mcdonalds.  and who wants to eat mcdonalds when you're in japan?  i know, the ugly american tourist, that's who.  well, there is a place, we call, "the pink telephone" because of a pay telephone outside the establishment that happens to be pink.  they have this dish that, in the middle of january or february, just makes sense.  chili pepper ramen.  you come in, communal tables, sit down where you can find a spot, there are boxes of tissues on the table, you'll soon find out why.  you order your soup.  its viscous, almost chewy broth is just heaven.  it's spicy, piquant, to the point of making your north american nasal passages let go.  that's okay, there's a box of tissues right there.  everyone is wiping their noses and sneezing and letting go.  it's good therapy.  it's clearing out what ails you.  when you come out, the only more perfect why to make the day exceptional is to hit the baths.  you're all bundled up, make your way back to the bus that takes you back to your hotel and you spend the next hour or so in your "capsule" bathroom steaming up the place, giving yourself a good steam bath.  ah, bliss.  but again....pork.

now the challenge is up to me to recreate these dishes with a vegan stock and ingredients.  is it possible?  i fear i'll come up short.  is there any rationalizing the occasional "slip" such as this?  oh, the dilemma this presents is just not fun to contemplate.  giving up my favorite dish to go 100% vegan or giving myself permission to "indulge" in a less than ideal behavior every now and then?  choices, choices.  i've always said perfection is boring.....

so....three years later.  still haven't gotten the "diet" thing, as far as vegetarian or vegan down.  i mean well, i really do.  i have a husband that doesn't understand my need to change things.  my weight is at an all time high, i'm being tested for sleep apnea this week and my health is just not that great all around.  i can't run any longer.  i just had surgery to fix a work injury on my left foot/ankle and walking is painful at the moment.  i need things to change.

i manage to do the 21 day vegan challenge a few times, but it never sticks.  and i've been pretty good at getting processed foods out of our house, with very few exceptions.  i'm a sucker for oreos.  who isn't?  actually, i'm a sucker for trader joe's joe joe's.  but, you get the picture.  i don't keep convenience foods around, so that's not the reason for my failing at making the final commitment.

i just happen to have a  husband that likes his meat and potatoes.  eat rice and beans?  that's crazy talk.  and lentils?  forget it.  garbanzo beans?  i can't get them past him.  now, i love a good falafel, but he won't go near it.  and the only place here in town that i knew to get a really good egyptian ful has closed.  and that's a shame.  so.....what's a girl to do?  i don't want to rely on pre-packaged "pseudo" meats.  i can get that past hubby and little one every now and then, in tacos and such.  i need to motivate them to start eating more vegetarian and vegan options.  but so much resistance!  at least boca burgers are acceptable.  but there you go again, pseudo meat.  and i'm sick to death of broccoli.  ugh!  it's the only veg that little one will eat, with the occasional pea.  what's wrong with carrots, cauliflower, chard, kale (yum!) spinach, haricot verts?  asparagus?  can't get it in them.  i LOVE the stuff.  i just need to find a way to do this. 

it's not for lack of creativity, or resources.  i've got vegan and vegetarian cookbooks to spare.  it's just that, "doesn't have meat in it."  GAH!  why is it, in america, every meal has to have meat?  i had a LOVELY lunch today, with hubby, that had NO MEAT in it at all.  well, at least mine didn't.  a beautiful caprese salad and a warming bowl of mushroom soup.  vegetarian, yes.  vegan, most definitely not.  but we're talking baby steps here.  i'm taking baby steps.  i don't know if i'll ever be able to give up cheese and butter.  i'm a midwestern girl.  i love my cheese and butter.  it's part of who i am, literally.  it's my hips.  seriously. 

i've never lost any weight when i was eating vegan, but i probably wasn't eating properly.  i need to read more, research more and be more direct and insisting with my family.  every time i try to do "meatless monday" it just falls apart.  hubby comes home with something that he wants, and then it just goes to hell.  well, that's got to change.  we're going to have to sit down and plan our monthly menu and monthly budget.  and i'm going to have to be ruthless with the finances.  i think we should try the "food stamp experiment" and try to live a month on what is allowed for a family of three.  basically, it's $87/week.  that $87/week goes a lot further buying rice and legumes than it does buying meat and dairy.  true, plant milks aren't always the least expensive, but i think we can make it fit in the budget.  so this may be the next part of this omnivore's dilemma.  the food stamp challenge.  let's see if i can sell it to the family.  and figure out what we can do with the money that we will be saving by not buying meat and dairy.  wish me luck, i'm going to need it.